A Visit to Avalon

You didn't think you'd see the gardens of Avalon ever again.

Though, you didn't think you'd see Avalon ever, period, because only the innocent may pass and you have long crossed that bridge. But you were wrong the first time, and it seems like you are wrong once more, waking up in a field of blooming flowers. 

This is a dream, of course. Which doesn't make it any less real, mind you (you have a hard time telling dreams and reality apart these days) but that also means that you can jump on your feet way faster than you would have when awake. Having no joint pain carrying over will do that to a man.

"Alright," you wonder out loud, "where I am?"

Surprisingly, you don't see Merlin's tower. You don't see much of anything at all, really. Flowers, flowers, a little cottage, and oh, wouldn't you guess it! More flowers.

That cottage is intriguing though, so you head that way. The closer you get, the odder it looks. It has been painted with bright colors, miroring the flower field around it. The painter was obviously very passionate... and very unskilled. Though, to their defense, painting on walls made of literal swords slot into one another cannot be easy.

You knock, twice. At the absence of response, you open the door and walk in. Similarly, the interior was clearly decorated by someone who wanted it to be cute, but had nothing but swords to work with. There's a wardrobe (made of swords,) a kitchen table (also swords,) a bed (with, thank god, a regular mattress) and-

someone rests on that bed. They turn to look at you as you step in. Half-awake, dishevelled, it takes you a second to recognize that they have your face.

"Hello!" You greet them with a smile. It's not your first time meeting another one of you. You might as well be polite. "Sorry for barging in, I-"

The figure jumps on all four, bares their teeth, and launches themself at you.

You flinch back, more by reflex than intent, barely dodging the snap of their jaws. You hurriedly step back, heartrate quickening. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You're three steps away from the door. If you throw a gandr at them, it might buy you some time-

The person tries to bite you again, snarling- only to be abruptly stopped mid-jump.

They have a collar. They have a collar, wrapped tight around their neck. They have a collar, and a leash, a thich chain keeping them tied to the bed.

They snarl at you, growl and spit like an animal, not a single word coming out of their mouth. They flail their arms wildly, trying to claw at you with long nails.

They don't reach you. A firm hand closes around your collar, and jerks you away from their reach.

"Ritsuka," speaks a soft voice, "I told you. If you want to bite, bite this."

The person who pulled you away from the mad dog extends an arm forward. Your other self wastes no time; they grab that arm, pulls it forward, and sink their teeth in the flesh. The person doesn't so much as flinch.

Instead, she turns to look at you, and smiles. "Hello to you too, Ritsuka." Says Artoria Avalon. "I'm sorry you had to see this."

You don't know what to say. You don't know how to even begin to process this. 

While you stand dumbstruck, Artoria steps forward. Your other self moves to bite her closer to the elbow. Her pale skin is littered in red teeth mark, you notice. This isn't the first time happened.

"It's okay," she says, calm as ever, as she wraps her other arm around the stranger wearing your face. "It's okay, Ritsuka. It's just me."

Her words must stir something inside of them, because they let go of her arm. There is a small, pityful whine, and then they start licking at the bite mark.

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it." She raises a hand to pet their hair. "It doesn't hurt that much anyways. Your jaws aren't that strong, Ritsuka."

You swallow hard. "What... what happened to them?"

Artoria doesn't even turn to look at you. "Wouldn't you know best?"

You do. Of course you do. If you have learned anything from this baseball game, it's this: for every one of your success, there is a version of you who fails. This one- this is the one who chose to forget the horrors they've seen. "This is the one who chose to be an animal."

That gets Artoria to looks at you, glaring with all her might. "Don't speak of them like that. Don't speak of yourself like that." A slight pause. And then, in a calmer tone: "They're human. You're human. They just... forgot about that, for now."

"Do you think they can remember?"

"They recognize me, don't they?" And surely, they must; why else would they press themself against Artoria so? Why else would they try to soothe the bites they gave? "I found them wandering between timelines, hurt and alone. They are no longer hurt. I won't let them be alone. I will help them be human again. They will be okay. I will make sure of it."

"Do you even know what that means, to be human?" She's a fairy, and a sword, and a star so bright you want to hold her in your palms even as she burns your skin away. Doesn't she have enough of a burden to carry? Why saddle herself with you?

"I know you, if nothing else. And what are you, if not a human?"

You are unsure of many things. You don't believe that you are innocent. You don't believe that you are sane. You don't believe that you are a good person at all, really.

But human. That, yes. That, you're certain you are.

"Thank you," you tell her, on the behalf of the you who has yet to remember how to speak. "Sorry for the bites. They must hurt."

"I told you. It's alright. I don't mind." She smiles, at you, at them, at Ritsuka Fujimaru. "I am your sword. I will never let you be alone. I will never let any of you be alone, Ritsuka."

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