Unfortunate Mistunderstandings

It is, generally speaking, very hard to embarrass Oberon. After all, to feel shame, one needs to have a pride- and Oberon long threw his to the wolves. He's kowtowed, cajoled, sweet-talked to anyone who required it to accomplish his goals, and he has no regrets over it. As such, it is difficult to make him genuinely upset over something cringe.

Of course Artoria, Caster, she who chants, girl with a nasty competitive streak the likes of which would put king Arthur to shame, would be the one to succeed.

He freezes in the doorway, unable to move. On the other side of the room, Artoria pauses mid-thrust, staring at him like a deer in headlights. For a couple, extremely long seconds, all they can do is look at each other, struck by the imminent realisation that they can never see each other the same again.

Ritsuka, for some unfathomable reason, only reacts by perking up. "Oberon!" They break into a wide grin as they prop themself on all four. They hop off the bed, without a care for Artoria's strap slipping out of them, and they advance towards Oberon. "Helloooo!"

During the few seconds it takes for Ritsuka to close the gap to Oberon, he realizes the following:

• Ritsuka is naked. That makes sense. Artoria was very clearly pegging them just a few seconds prior.

• There is a large cum stain drying on Ritsuka's belly. Presumably, they've been going at it for quite a while now.

• Oh fuck they're gonna try to hug him fuck fuck no-

"Don't-!" But it's too late. Ritsuka wraps both arms around him and pulls him close to their chest, rubbing their cheek against his- and, most importantly, smearing jizz all over his shirt.

"I'm sooo happy to see you!" They pull away slightly, looking at him with the stupidest smile on their face. "Ah- what's wrong? You look upset."

Did they hit their head? Is that it? Did they somehow become braindead in the span of 48 hours?

And then, a miracle: understanding dawns upon their face, like the world's slowest racer. "Oh! Your clothes are dirty. Let me help you take them off."

"Wh- no !" He almost takes a step backward- then, it occurs to him that he's about to head back into the hallway looking like the nhentai bukkake tag, and instead reaches behind him to slam the door shut.

Without a care in the world, Ritsuka laces their fingers in his shirt, starting the world's slowest unbuttoning operation. Oberon has half a mind to push them off him- when Artoria speaks up from the bed. "Hey, Ritsuka. Didn't you have something to give Oberon?"

"Oh! You're right!" And, bless the power that be! Ritsuka does stop pestering Oberon, turning around to go rummage through a drawer or another.

"... Are they doing coke? Is that it?"

"No, it's, uhm. A human thing." She tries to glare at him, though the furious blush on her face dampers the effect somewhat. "I told you they were sick. Why did you come here?"

"When they hear someone is sick and confined to their quarter for a week, most people think of a bad cold not- whatever this is, Artoria!"

She opens her mouth to responds- but they're both interrupted by Ritsuka, coming back with all the energy of a lost puppy. "Oberon! Here." Pride dripping from their every pore, they extend a hand to present to Oberon-

He blinks. Rubs his eye. Blinks again.

There is no two-ways about this. This is a rock. A stone. A pebble .

"... Okay?" He picks the rock up, more by automatism than anything else.

For some reason, Ritsuka reacts by pumping both fists into the air. " Yes! Oberon, do you wanna hang out with us? I want to stay with you too."

"... You... want me to have a threesome with you?"

Ritsuka blinks. They look down, at their own erection. Then at Artoria, still strap out, her head in her hands. "Oh. Right. We were in the middle of something." Idly, they raise a hand to scratch their chin. "Is that allowed? Neither of us have bitten you yet."

That last statement makes him snort. "I wish. This animal bites me at the slightest disagreement."

Artoria snaps her face out of her hand, staring at him with unspeakable horror. It's an extremely funny look on her- but alas, he does not have the time to bask in it, for Ritsuka speaks again: "Oh! Really? Well that makes things much simpler then!"

Suddenly, sneak behind him, grab him by the shoulders, and push him towards the bed, forcibly sitting him next to Artoria. Then, just as swiftly, they sit next to him, and lean on his shoulder like an overgrown cat- pushing him all over the other fairy as well. She's clothed, more or less, but he still gets an eyeful of her tits on the way- as well as, naturally, the toy adorning her hips.

"Should you really be dicking down a sick person?"

She looks absolutely mortified by his question. "Look, there's only so much pounding I can take! I know I got plenty of holes, but it gets sore after a while, you know! It's better to tire them out on top first."

"... Okay, first of all, too much information. Second of all, that's not what I-" suddenly, he's struck by inspiration, some half-cobbled conversations coming to mind, and he turns to look at Ritsuka. "... Are you in heat?! "

Ritsuka blinks, like some sort of bovine. "No? I'm an alpha."

"Yeah, they essentially are." Artoria clarifies.

Oberon turns back to her, quirking up an eyebrow. "You could have just told me that, instead of dancing around the subject."

"Oh, I'm sorry . Next time you ask me stuff in the middle of the cafeteria, I'll make sure to tell you about how Ritsuka's going to be absent for the week because they're leaking precum all over the floor unless I come to milk their prostate by hand."

"She's not very good with her hands, honestly. Her fingers are too short. She doesn't reach far enough." Ritsuka provides unhelpfully. "Her strap game is amazing though. You should have her do it to you too! It feels good."

Wh- he- did they fucking just-

"R- Ritsuka, you, uhm, really don't need to flirt on my behalf."

"Mh?" They lean further onto Oberon, setting a hand on top of his thigh. Suddenly, it occurs to Oberon that they are still very naked, and visibly hard. "But you bit him, right? And you bit me. That means you've got dibs on fucking him. So I gotta support my alpha with all I've got, right?"

They- they're insane. There's no other explanation for this. Oberon refuses to flinch away from them on principle, though, so instead he glares directly at them. "Damn, your heat is really messing with your head, huh?"

"I told you. I don't do heats. I'm an alpha." Suddenly, he feels sharp teeth grazing the side of his neck. "I can bite you too. If you'll let me."

He huffs at that. "What, you think you're scaring me? You think a bit too highly of yourself, ô comedian of Chaldea. Go ahead and take a bite, if you want it so much."

Artoria grabs his shoulder suddenly, pulling him backward- too late. Ritsuka bites deep into his neck, harshly enough to make it bruise. "Fuck! You two really are animals-"

They let go of him, and the next thing Oberon knows, he's tackled onto the bed, lips crashing against his own. Something hard and hot rubs against his knee, wetting the fabric of his pants.

The kiss only lasts a couple seconds, but it's enough to leave him frazzled; when Artoria physically pulls the human off him, he can do nothing but lay here, blinking madly, wondering if he just dreamed the entire interaction. "... Whuh??"

In Artoria's grasp, Ritsuka writhes. "Please," they whine, "Ill do whatever you want later later, just please please please let me suck his dick I want it so bad I need to please him I need him panting and screaming now-"

"Oberon, if you want to back out, you need to leave now or you're gonna end up with cum on more places than just your shirt."

Leave? His neck aches where they bit. They ruin his shirt, bruise him, and she expects him to not plummet them into the ground for this? "Let go. I can take them."

She stares at him for a second, as if she couldn't believe what she heard-

and then, she releases her grip.

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