Even Monsters Are Welcome When Your House Feels Empty

The nights are cold in the Shadow Border. You curl onto yourself, pulling the blanket tighter over your shoulders. Your whole body shivers over those sheets.

You cannot sleep. What a hell it is, to have dreams that are empty and nightmares that are your own.

“Hey,” you call softly. “Are you there?”

There is no one to reply to you. Once upon a time, your room would have been filled to the brim- Kyohime and Serenity and the Count and so many others, eager to share your space. Now all contracts are broken, and you have no one left but yourself.

There is no one to reply to you. And yet-

Slowly, you feel the mattress shift.

Of course they’re here. Of course. Of course. All contracts are broken, you have nothing left to give but yourself-

But they’re here. They’ve always been here. Ever since that fire in the command room- a saint had reached out to Mash, and something had reached out to you.

“Come here.” You beckon. “Don’t be a stranger.”

The bed shifts further, until the entity ends up hovering above you, close enough for you to touch. They feel warm and cold at once, like a fever, like an illness given form.

Maybe that’s what they are. An illness. What else would you call something you cannot run away from for it lives in the inside of your body? What else would you call something that drags you through pain and suffering without ever letting you die? You are sick. You are festering. They feast upon your coughs.

And you are lonely enough to welcome them with open arms.

"You don't have a mouth, do you?" You reach up, then press your hands against the dark mass hovering above you. It caves under your touch, malleable like dough wrapped in velvet. You press your fingers in, dragging that non-flesh apart in some sort of crude maw. "Now you do!" 

They do not answer- or at least, not in any language you can hear. They don't pull away either, though. Maybe they did not feel a single thing at all.

You pretend, nonetheless. Pretending is all you have left.

"Here. Let me show you a human thing." You wrap both arms around them and pull them down, pressing that mouth against yours. "There. That's a kiss. It's a sign of affection for us." 

The entity shifts in your arms. Something pokes your forehead, then your cheek. "Yeah. Basically like that. You're doing great!" 

You smile, as wide as you can manage. God. God, you’re so fucking pathetic, begging for love from a being who cannot even feel. You’re worse than a dog, so desperate for human contact that you would ask for this facsimile from something that couldn’t be further from human. Idiot. You are alone. This gaze looking through your eyes was never company. You are alone, you dumbass b-

Suddenly, something collides with your face- not hard enough to hurt, but it's still a sharp contrast from the earlier gentle touches. You gasp in surprise- but your voice is swallowed by a long tongue invading your mouth. Tongues, plural. Teeth, sharper than anything you've ever felt against your skin, nip at your lips. 

"O-oh. you, uh. You learn fast." You did not teach them that. From that simple fact, two things occur to you:

• This entity has been observing humans other than you, and knows a lot more than you'd assumed.
• This entity is down to fuck.

Oh, this is unwise. This is stupid. There is literally no way this can end well. What you want- love affection comfort please tell me everything will be alright- is not anything this creature can give you. Their mouth is full of teeth. Claws are poking at your thighs. This will hurt your heart as much as your body. This is unwise. This is stupid.

But pretending is all you have.

“Please.” You hold tighter onto that neck. “I don’t want to think anymore tonight.”

Make me forget. Make me forget the sound of gunshots. Make me forget the smell of burning meat. Make me forget this terror in my bones. Just for tonight, just for one night, please.

Don’t leave me alone any longer.